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Mutual Respect

Writer's picture: Michelle PeatMichelle Peat

Mutual respect is about giving respect and expecting respect in return. Being mindful of mutual respect helps us build into our relationships. In our business dealings, workplace, school, community, and in our homes.

Mutual respect is an understanding that despite difference in age, race, positions in work and family, background, beliefs, income or differences, the person you are interacting with is just as important as you are.

Mutual respect genuinely values the other person.

We can build mutual respect in several ways:

Being open to the other – when we come with an open mind we seek to understand where other people are coming from.

Giving time – when we give uninterrupted speaking time when the other person is trying to get their message across.

Fair communication – understanding that power imbalances are part of our lives. Employer/ Employee, Tenant/Landlord, Parent/Child etc. When we are the person with more power, it’s important to use empathy and compassion when speaking and listening.

Empathy – is being able to put ourselves in the other persons shoes. It helps us to respond with kindness and support. And provides a balancing of power without removing the expectations and responsibilities we have in our role or the role the other holds.

Respecting boundaries – physical, emotional, and intellectual boundaries need protecting. If we are mindful of these boundaries in our dealings with others, this builds mutual respect.

I get that we are not always going to get it right. That’s just life.

A great way to start over is by giving an apology. See here for blog on how to put forward an effective apology. https://www.michellepeat.co.nz/post/art_of_apology

One way of undermining mutual respect is using double standards. For instance, say the family rule is, ‘No phones at the dinner table.’ But we the parent answer our phone during dinner. Or ‘No snacks before dinner.’ But we snack before dinner.

Double standards take from the respect building you are doing.

Because we are modelling how respect looks, if we ourselves are feeling disrespected, can say, ‘Hey, this isn’t how we treat each other.’ Because we have been modelling and promoting fairness, it shouldn’t take too much correction.

We give respect and we expect respect in return.

Overall mutual respect leaves the other person feeling understood and heard. It promotes cooperation within the family or workplace.

Wow, thinking about it, mutual respect could change a society. But let’s start by practicing mutual respect with those around us.


Arohanui Michelle x


Find more communication tips here:


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